Sooo….
You know how I told you guys that one of the Burlesque Troupes that I perform with is putting on a pile a shows in the Just For Laughs Festival?
Well….
Wednesday night, some of the cast of the Candyass Club Cabaret were asked, among other performers in the festival, to appear at a Press Conference at (of all places) Foufounes Electriques.
I’m not sure why but it actually didn’t occur to me that appearing at what was described as a cinq à sept would feel more like a cross between being a celebrity and being livestock at a clown show.
The caged terrace venue didn’t help. Or it did help, I should say.
It helped me feel like cattle at a slaughter house (Oh Jen! Nice metaphor for the corporate exploitation and eventual demise of the arts and all that deep shit!). Only it was the kind of slaughter house inhabited by cancan girls, comedians and toddler twins dressed as cowboys, all of whom being mobbed by the media. You know, that kind.
The minute we walked in, a stressy woman tore my bottle of water from my hands muttering
“this isn’t good for me, no, this is bad, not good”
as she scampered off with it
- Leading me to the obvious conclusion that I had accidentally fallen down the rabbit hole at some point while walking along St-Kits -
Only to return 20 minutes later with a bottle of water from one of the festival’s sponsoring companies.
Then we were asked to pose for a few photos, as a troupe.
Then we stood around, handed out a few flyers and asked ourselves and each other repeatedly,
“What are we supposed to do?”
Then the press conference started, during which, some sort of handler/shepherd would keep coming over and grabbing one or two of us at a time and dragging us off to stage us behind various news anchors, to “act natural” as a backdrop.
Then…
When the conference was over, they called for a family photo, including all present performers at the conference.
So basically we all squished to one end of the room, in front of all the photographers and camera men/women, while they called us and yelled at us to smile for their cameras.
Just. Like. In. The. Movies.
It was weird, uncomfortable, awkward and awesome all at the same time.
I called my mother the minute I left the venue to tell her that her daughter had finally made it to the big times.
Only not actually Big Times.
Because
a) None of those photographers have a clue who I am
b) I’m guessing that “Big Times” isn’t hosted in a punk-rock biker bar.
Can I just say though that the next morning, when I saw the photos posted in the papers, I felt simultaneously saddened and proud that Journal de Montreal put our article on the same page that announced the passing of James Gandolfini?
– From Left to Right: Nat King Pole, Millie, Corey, Velma Candyass, Lady Hoops, Damiana Dolce (that’s me) -
For more information about our shows in the Just For Laughs Festival (dates, times etc…) www.hahaha.com/fr/show/le-candyass-cabaret
For those of you who can’t wait until the festival to see us,
YOU DON’T HAVE TO!!
Because we have a show tonight! More info here: www.DamianaDolce.com
P.S. You’re welcome for giving you a glimpse into the life of the broke and virtually nameless. I’m keeping it real just for you guys.
That’s a lie.
I’m keeping it real because nobody knows or cares who I am.
If I had a choice, I’d be rich and famous.
Because I’m a jerk that way.
But here’s the deal. If you help me get there, you can tell everyone
“I knew her when…”
In fact you can tell everyone we slept together and I won’t even deny it.
In fact, I’ll tell everyone you were the best damn lay I ever had and you’ll never go without a date again.
Deal?
Original article: Just For Laughs Burlesque – Keeping The Dream Alive